"You’re only as old as you feel!" That’s what most folks say when I mention how I don’t like getting or being old. To answer them, I want to say, trying to be humorous, "Oh! Were you at my funeral?" But that seems too harsh and perhaps rude. So, I usually just follow with, “Yeah, I guess!”
In reality, most of the time I feel more like the song I wrote, "If I Look Old." You know, trying to be "enjoying my day." Yeah, I do move slower, and, sometimes I am NOT steady on my feet, as the song implies, (and the cut on my chin!!). And there are times being tired of living is a thought!! ONLY A THOUGHT!!! Because I will NEVER get tired of life!
Okay. So, I don't like being old. Big deal. Being old puts me at an advantage over younger folks, in that I have been their age, but, they have never been mine!! Sadly, a lot of young folks today don't see it that way. That's alright. If I recall, and I do, most of us boomers didn't see it that way either. The difference is, we never lost sight of the fact that yeah, the adults had in fact been our age, and certainly, we had not been theirs. The difference is a word, was and is respect.
I won't get into that because my opinion, though respected by many, has cost me venues and gigs by booking cats and kittens, who don't agree with some of the things I have said, and are "punishing" me by closing their doors to me. And, yeah, that bothers me, hurts me, disappoints me, and :all those other sad feelings" me. But, I still go to the bank, every Monday morning and put the money in that I earned from bringing my music to all the venues and owners and fans who still understand everyone, including the "door slammers," have a right to their opinion. And they also know mine and anyone else's opinions do not affect their talent!
You see, I'm old! I've lived life younger people haven't… yet! And I pray to God that some of what I have endured, they never have to! I'm not going to preach ethics, nor philosophy right now. That's for a coffee table gathering somewhere down the road. Because right now, it’s common in today's world, to be vilified, castigated, and condemned for simply disagreeing. Strong words? Maybe, but, prove me wrong!
I'm and artist; a singer-songwriter. I climbed a rung or two on the ladder of success a few times. I just didn't get to the top. That's where the "I pray to God that some of what I have endured, they never have to," comes in.
You see, I'm old. But my clock is still ticking. The hands are still moving forward, and I can't slow them down, nor turn them back! I have always, always told my kids, "There's a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield!" I will continue to look forward, that's where the adventure lies! The rearview mirror, that's places to which I've already been, and going backwards is a direction I've already tried, several times. That brings us back to the rungs on the ladder.
God let me grow older, and I hope it's because I have more music to make, more songs to write, more people to meet, and in that more friends and fans to make! And all of that is the view through the windshield. That's where this old man is looking!
Down the road,
Michael Murphy
The Big Dog.